Meryl Wilsner on 'My Best Friend's Honeymoon'
Who knew BFFs could be this close?
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Today, I’m thrilled to bring you an interview with romance writer Meryl Wilsner. If you’re a fan of sapphic romance novels, you’ve likely heard of Wilsner’s books. They’ve written four novels: Something to Talk About, Mistakes Were Made, Cleat Clute, and their most recent book, My Best Friend’s Honeymoon. Their books are funny, sexy, and aspirational, yet still grounded in a sense of emotional truth.
My Best Friend’s Honeymoon is a friends-to-lovers story about two BFFs, Elsie and Ginny. When Elsie breaks off her engagement after learning her fiancé already planned the wedding and the honeymoon without her input, she’s left with a nonrefundable trip to the Caribbean. So, Elsie does the logical thing: she takes Ginny instead. What begins as a trip between friends turns into a steamy gateway, as Elsie and Ginny confront the long-held feelings they’ve had for one another.
I was excited to talk to Wilsner about their inspiration for the book, how they went about writing its (many!) sex scenes, and how identity functions in fiction. If you’re looking for something to brighten up the darker months (or if you’re in Australia and New Zealand and are enjoying the summer), My Best Friend’s Honeymoon will do just the trick. Enjoy our conversation below.
My Best Friend’s Honeymoon is a sweet friends-to-lovers story. What inspired you to tackle this relationship dynamic?
Honestly, the entire idea for My Best Friend’s Honeymoon began because I wanted to write dirty talk. The initial concept was the tagline on the cover: “They’ll give her anything she wants…so long as she asks for it.” To me, dirty talk in books can often come off as unrealistic or out of character. This set up allowed me to have a character be explicit in sex scenes even if they might not normally. Friends-to-lovers made a lot of sense within that framework. Elsie feels incredibly safe with Ginny, and that lets her express desires she would never have said to a hook up, desires she’d never shared with her previous partner. I was able to push the sex scenes further than I have in previous books because of the characters’ underlying comfort with each other.
It was also really important to me to establish that romance is not somehow more important than friendship. These characters want to be in each other’s lives, and if romance didn’t work out, friendship would not have been a consolation prize.
Why was it important for you to write a book with a nonbinary main character?
In publishing, we often say “representation matters” in regard to young adult books, and that’s true. I’m so grateful that kids these days are growing up with more characters who look and act like them. But representation matters for adults, too. I’m a nonbinary author, and I never considered writing a nonbinary character until reading Anita Kelly’s Love and Other Disasters. It wasn’t like it was something I longed to do and didn’t think I could–I just hadn’t considered it at all. I didn’t realize there was space within traditional publishing for a character with they/them pronouns like London Parker in L&OD.
When I started writing MBFH, I thought Ginny would use exclusively they/them pronouns, like me. Often, I would accidentally use she/her and feel like I was misgendering my own character. Once I got to know Ginny better, though, I realized she uses both she and they. Like anything, the nonbinary experience is not a monolith.
Books with marginalized leads are important, obviously. Representation is important. But also–Ginny is just Ginny. Their identity is a big part of the book because it’s a big part of them, but it’s not an ~issue~. Queer people deserve the same types of stories as non-queer people. We deserve the same breadth of stories. Some will focus on coming out, or dealing with homophobia and transphobia. Some will have dragons. Some will be fluffy and some will be funny and some will be heavy-hitting. And they all matter and deserve to be told.
How do you go about defining or describing your characters’ bodies? How important is physical appearance to their characterization?
In general, I try to be body neutral. There is no inherent virtue in a body. There is no “right” way for a body to be. Similarly to how Ginny’s nonbinary identity is simply a part of them, so is their fatness. It comes up in both good and bad ways–they’re a woodworker, so they’re very strong, but also the world is fatphobic, so at one point they’re in a chair that is not made for fat bodies at all. They experience the world as a fat person, and that is mentioned, but for the most part, they’re not thinking about their body. Elsie, too, doesn’t think much about her own body. Actual description of my characters’ bodies–in all my books–often only comes up through the lens of attractiveness by their love interest. Ginny is overwhelmed by all of Elsie’s skin when she’s in a bathing suit. Elsie drools over Ginny’s soft roundness.
I’m always more focused on emotions and character and relationship arcs than I am about describing anything. I often joke that my first drafts are about stick figures hanging out in a blank white room. If a character’s clothes are described, it’s because the love interest wants to get underneath them. If their face is described, it’s because the love interest wants to kiss it. Whether society as a whole would consider a character attractive generally doesn’t matter at all, because their love interest finds them unbearably attractive.
You’re quite skilled at writing sex scenes, and My Best Friend’s Honeymoon is one of your steamiest books. When you sit down to write these scenes, do you have goals in mind? What are you looking to get across in terms of character details and relationship growth?
Thank you! As I said earlier, this whole book–the characters, their history, everything–grew around a goal I had for sex scenes. Sometimes that’s how it works, where the sex scenes are driving the characterization. Sometimes I know my characters first, and how the sex scenes go depend on who they are.
My debut, Something to Talk About, is my lowest heat book. There is only one sex scene, and only one of the characters orgasms on page. (That’s because the other character would’ve made her come about six more times before allowing any reciprocation, and that would’ve simply been too long of a sex scene at the end of the book.) That is what was right for that book, for those characters. They had to work through issues and power dynamics before either of them was comfortable with being intimate. In my second book, Mistakes Were Made, the main characters are fucking in the back of a car on page 7. Different books, different characters require different approaches.
I know many people say that sex scenes need to move the plot forward or tell you something about the characters, and I think that’s true–to a point. Yes, a sex scene can lead to characters being caught in a compromising position, or show how characters relate to each other, or the ways in which they’re willing or unwilling to be vulnerable, or any number of things. But framing a conversation about sex scenes around the idea that they have to “matter” can overemphasize their importance. Every scene in my books–every line, even–matters to me. Sometimes a line matters because it’s funny; sometimes it matters because it changes the entire arc of the story. Similarly: yes, sometimes a sex scene can reveal something deeply important to the characters, but sometimes all it tells you is that they like to fuck. One is not better than the other, just like high heat is not inherently better than slow burn or closed door.
These characters have years of backstory, but most of the story takes place in the present day. How did you work out their history and their dynamic without weighing the book down with too many flashbacks?
I don’t want to get too spoiler-y, so I’ll try not to go into details, but: I did not know Ginny and Elsie’s full history when I started writing. Writing their present helped me discover events that had happened in the past that shaped who they are and how they relate to each other. I wrote more flashbacks than made it into the book because doing so helped me understand the characters, but not all of those scenes were necessary for readers. My editor was integral in figuring out that balance. That’s something I have to work through with every book: making sure I put enough on the page for readers to get the whole story without putting so much that the pace drags.
Writing and editing is the act of translating characters and a story that I know intimately to a book so others can know them as well. It’s not something I can do alone, because I know every underlying motivation. People like my editor and beta readers provide perspective to help be sure I’ve told the story I want to tell.
How much of your work is pulled from experience - your experience, or that of friends?
I mean, both all of it and none of it? I’m not Ginny, but I’m fat and nonbinary. I’m not Elsie, but in 7th grade everyone in school decided I was a lesbian and stopped talking to me. I have never dated my boss or my best friend’s mom. I’m not a professional soccer player. I’ve never been in an overwater bungalow. But I’ve caught feelings I shouldn’t and wanted to kiss my friend and thought that my crush was wildly out of my league.
Romance authors seem to be asked if they’re writing from experience more often than authors of other genres, I assume because it seems fun and maybe a little scandalous. But generally if a partner is helping me figure out a sex scene, it’s about blocking–where would this character’s leg be if they were making out like this? Once I had to ask my wife if it was clear whose clit I was talking about in a sentence. It was.
What do you hope readers get out of the book?
I hope it makes them want to be just a little more vulnerable. Whether that’s so they can fall in love or get rimmed by their best friend is up to them.
You can buy My Best Friend’s Honeymoon at Bookshop or your local independent bookstore.
