'Slayers, Every One Of Us' Tells a Queer Divorce Story Through the Lens of 'Buffy'
Kristin Russo and Jenny Owen Youngs got through it all thanks to fandom
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A memoir about a podcast might sound like a dull prospect, but Kristin Russo and Jenny Owen Youngs’s story is anything but. Kristin, a writer and speaker, and Jenny, a musician, met in New York City and got married in 2013. They moved to Los Angeles several years later for Jenny’s career, and in September of 2016, they launched their first podcast together. Five years into the marriage and two years into the podcast, the marriage fell apart, and the duo got a divorce.
The premise of Buffering the Vampire Slayer was simple. Jenny wanted to show Kristin her favorite TV series, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, so they sat down and watched it together. Every episode of the podcast centered on an episode of the series, and each entry ended with at least one original song from Jenny. The podcast was an instant hit, and over the course of hundreds of episodes (and even more songs), a passionate and close-knit fan community emerged.
The book follows the creation of the podcast alongside Kristin and Jenny’s shifting relationship. Presented from three different POVs, Kristin’s, Jenny’s, and a joint, “royal we” perspective, it gives the reader a sense of how the (former) couple experienced this period, both together and apart. The memoir’s seven chapters roughly follow the seven seasons of the show, tracking the evolution of the podcast, the plot of the series, and the trajectory of Kristin and Jenny’s lives.
It’s a clever structure, in part because of how clearly it illustrates Oscar Wilde’s famous proclamation that “life imitates art.” Indeed, the plot of Buffy the Vampire Slayer often reflected their lives and the world around them in a big way. For one thing, Trump was elected for his first term only a month after the podcast premiered, saddling the United States with their very own “Master” to reckon with and giving the series’ many Big Bads new resonance.
The dissolution of Kristin and Jenny’s marriage – and their continued commitment to the podcast – also mirrors the show’s narrative in many ways. Their separation began while they were recording season three, right around the time Angel breaks Buffy’s heart (again) and she has to save the world (again) despite her heartbreak. They held their first Buffy Prom event just after Jenny announced their marriage was no longer working, keeping up appearances for the fans’ sake.
They kept working through their divorce and COVID, despite the many challenges those circumstances brought. But, like Buffy, they were never truly alone. The Scoobies – the name for Buffy’s friends on the show and the name of fans of the podcast – offered their unwavering support and dedication to the project and the women who created it. As Buffy does in the series’ final season, Kristin and Jenny came to understand that the podcast’s true power lies not in its hosts, but in the collective that formed around it. Hence, the book’s title, also a quote from the series: Slayers, every one of us.
The fan community that grew around Buffering became the most significant aspect of the project. Fans developed close relationships with one another, Kristin and Jenny often held events and meetups, and there was constant communication among the fans and creators. Buffering fans exemplify the uplifting, empowering possibilities of fandom – far from the image of toxic fans often brought up in recent years. (Notably, the folks called “toxic” are usually straight men, and the Buffering community is primarily made up of queer women and queer folks.) The vast majority of the community was supportive and respectful of Kristin and Jenny when they announced their divorce, and as they tell it, this support got them through the hard times.
As much as the book is about Kristin and Jenny’s relationship, fandom,and queer community are equally as important. Fandom has become a distinct sector of the entertainment industry in and of itself, and fans have become more comfortable demanding respect and taking up space. (For better and for worse.) Being a nerd and a fan can now be a profitable business enterprise. “Professional fan” is a job title many content creators claim online, and rightly so.
But for Kristin and Jenny, Buffering was always a community-driven, niche project. Their unique (read: queer) perspective on Buffy and their unashamed nerdom endeared them to listeners across the globe. Like the best fan projects, Buffering adds another voice to the show, delivering humor, insight, and, of course, community. Buffering is as much about Buffy the series as it is about people’s reactions and relationships to the show. The Joss Whedon of it all doesn’t even register as a relevant part of the story – his actions don’t define the show or what it means to fans.
When you take a step back, the many layers of this story and its players emerge. It all began with Kristin and Jenny’s connection to Buffy, which then aligned with fans’ connection to Buffy, which then turned into fans’ connection to Kristin and Jenny’s connection to Buffy. Fans became invested in Kristin and Jenny’s relationship, and in turn, their relationship became wrapped up in their devotion to the podcast.
Kristin and Jenny’s divorce was not exactly a normal breakup, nor is it a model for how people should break up. Both women speak about their workaholic tendencies, which, at their worst, have led to medical emergencies. The entire separation period and its aftermath were defined by Olympic-level compartmentalization, which, while ill-advised, somehow kept the podcast running through it all. Still, Kristin and Jenny’s story has something to tell us about queer community and fandom. Slayers, Every One Of Us illuminates the power of community and the power of entertainment to get us through the toughest parts of life.
Thank you for writing about this! I was listening to the podcast when these things were happening, so I'm looking to reading the reflections about this period and project overall.
Have just bookmarkdvthe audiobook in Amazon Music plus